Ask for help

When is the last time you asked for something you need? Ask for help, even when you don’t think you actually need it. No seriously… I am the type of person who takes care of everyone around me, taking little to no time to think about or take care of the things that I need. During these last few weeks of being on a government-induced lockdown, my usual coping mechanisms of supposed self-care are no more. I am caught in a waking nightmare of having to actually deal with me. All of which I take great pride in avoiding. I am in a present state of learning how to ask for the things that I need.

Before you think I am certifiable, let me help you understand what I mean.

During a non-coronavirus week, my day hinges on my husband, kids, parents, etc. From the moment I wake, I am in high gear and set to take care of them. I check off the many lists scrolling through my mind. This ensures that everyone has what they need to get through their day. I then make the round trip to drop the kids off at school.

In the few hours that I have before I need to pick them up, I am trying to take care of laundry, dinner, emails, projects, shipping orders, and most other things that pop up. By this time, I have taken care of “most” of my primary needs – brushed teeth, bathed face and body, applied deodorant. But what I usually miss is the first meal of the day, combing my hair, or taking the time to actually dress like a whole human being. Fast forward a few hours, my husband has arrived home and I shift to taking care of him. Don’t get me wrong, this is one of my favorite parts of the day. I love making sure that he is relaxed after his ridiculous commute.

I love my family and I know that they would stop time to help me whenever I need, but how do they know I need anything if I NEVER ask?

Back to my original question, when is the last time you asked for something you need? We as the superwomen/men that we are, cannot expect those around us to know what we need if we don’t vocalize it. We can do a lot, we can accomplish everything we set our minds to, but we often need help with the simplest task of taking care of ourselves. They mean well when they suggest things, or “remind” us to do for us, but it often takes more than suggestions. People like us need to be stopped and fed or made to get off the computer to rest. Don’t think that everything that needs to be accomplished must be done by you and you alone. Ask for the help you need. It doesn’t matter how simple, or how difficult…just ask, it makes a real difference.

Photo by Jessica Felicio on Unsplash